The Daily Fish, December 17, 2011 - "It Will Be A Cold Day..."
“I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.”
http://defendmichael.wordpress.com/
My Dear Friends, Fellow Patriots and ….
… now, this Special Report, from Washington D.C.
It is a rather cold, make that bitter, unbelievably cold, in fact the coldest January 21st on record, in fact the coldest day ever in the history of Washington, D.C.
The cold is not just a winter storm, it is not a Nor’easter or anything of the sort. It is just plain, bleeding freezing and not just in Washington, but this coldness is covering the entire Country right to the core.
Stepping up to the podium outside the West Front of the Capitol building, tossing his Marlboro Lite to the ground and crushing the last ember by the heal of his boot, Hakeem steps to address the, literally, huddling masses.
Unzipping his purple SEIU jacket, he reaches for and lights another smoke. Playing with the smoke as he lets it escape from his mouth as he inhales in through his nose.
Surveying the crowd, he just looks out without any sense of urgency and the only recognition he exhibits is when his snarl of disdain slowly leaves his face as he turns to his right and the sea of purple and the waving rainbow flags amassed up in the front.
He finishes his ciggie and placing both hands on the sides of the podium, he begins by saying: “My friends…” as he looks at the decidedly purple swath and the coterie of rainbow flags up in the good seats and the smile fades again as he utters: “…and the rest of you, the Americans.”
“I stand before you as your leader. When I was elected four years ago, I made you a solemn promise. I said that ‘America is the greatest country in the world and we intend to change that.’ I kept THAT oath…”
“My friends here up front knew what I meant then and they can see the results for what they are. The rest of you, well, I have no idea what you think now and even less for what you were thinking then. C’mon, we are the “greatest country” and I said I was going to change it. And you clapped, cheered and voted for me. And now look. We did. And you are not clapping, you are not cheering … and it made no difference if you voted for me or not.”
“I am going to let you in on a little secret. What you are seeing today and what you will see going forward was our plan all along. I told you what you wanted to hear in order to elect me. You were so desperate for hope and change that you would have voted for the devil himself. Little did you know.”
“I have nothing to lose by telling you this. In that campaign I mixed that which some of you call truth with that which some of you call lies, but, a lie is just a state of mind, right? Truly, it makes no difference which was which or to whom because that was not my goal. Some of you voted for me because I was not Bush others because I am Black others because I promised you the moon. And for about 53% of you, I delivered. And that gave me most of my eight-point margin of victory.”
“Capitalism is dead. America’s hegemony is no more. Our military are no longer the world’s policemen. We are all citizens of the world and not just some country. And there are some other changes as you will see.”
“What made me laugh and laugh was the fact that not only did I tell you what I was going to do but so did all those right-wing talk show hosts, writers for the few papers not under our control and the internet bloggers.”
“They told you with alarming accuracy what I was doing. And every time it seemed that you finally began to believe them, I did something or said something to deflect those warnings and criticisms. Of course those staged events with adoring fans helped the cause. And the very little that I could not do on my own was aided by my friends in the media who were all too happy to spread the word. After all, they had skin in the game.”
“But, things are different now, this country has fundamentally changed and is changed forever.”
“I hate to brag or boast about all the great things that I have done but let’s look at some of my accomplishments in the past four years.”
“I have determined what will be taught to the students, so that they will follow my lead in transforming this country. I have made marriage more inclusive for others than just you heterosexuals. I have minimized the importance of the family and have re-invented that concept to mean whatever I want it to. I have all but eliminated the need for churches and as I go forward I will eliminate any practice of religion. After all, this is the 21st Century. Man is the creator and the ruler of all.”
“I have made the elimination of mistakes easier for all of our children. There is no reason why a healthy eleven or twelve year old girl not to enjoy physical contact and if they make a mistake, there is no reason they should have to suffer with it. A variety of alternatives are now available.”
“Of course, the deficit makes no difference now as we are all part of the world economy and not only with the redistribution of wealth be completed here soon, I will mandate that we do our best to help all the others in need no matter where in the world they are.”
“Speaking of debt and money, I have made the tracking of your finances easier. This year I will continue to phase in the cashless society and eliminate paper money. The chips, from what I am told, are painless to install and you will no longer need to remember to bring your wallet, it will all be in your right hand! Of course, I will be able to track your finances as well so as to ensure that you are getting your fair share. And paying it as well.”
“As promised, you will all be afforded the exact same amount of health care throughout your life . Some of you have been wise enough to save your allotment for your later years. Some have not been as frugal and you will be missed.”
“I am trying to save the planet from the onslaught of man-made climate issues. You will see less and less oil and gas as we go on, and there are others who need this more than you.”
“I kept my ‘promise’ to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Well, I kept the part where I would bring the troops back to America. Of course, there are a few things more troublesome than a trained military with nothing to do. So, you will see more and more of the military in your home towns enforcing the new laws.”
“I have done my best to ensure that there was an uninterrupted source of cheap labor in this country. With so many people coming across the southern border we can now be confident that many of the jobs that you lazy people won’t do or find beneath you are now being done by those you call ‘illegal aliens’. What you did not realize is that many of these so-called unskilled laborers created the situation where the so-called better jobs were being done for less money, as you screwed the pooch by glutting your job market. And let me tell you, it was not easy. Thanks to AG Stedman, I was able to delay and stonewall in the courts before they overturned any of the good work I have done. Not that it would have made a difference but it was good for sport if nothing else. How else could I tell you that I was for illegal immigration, for repatriation, for giving them benefits and for taking away the funding all in one breath?”
“Yes, starting today, the old flag will be gone. It would have had to be changed anyway as Texas has seceded from the country, at least for now. The familiar and friendly red, white and blue with the beloved “O” in the center will be our new and unifying flag.”
“I will do my best to keep this short, but I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge all those who pulled together to make ours a more equal, more fair, more of a home for which you can be proud for many of you for the first time in your adult lives, as my ‘Beard’ would say. I accept the assistance of ACORN, SEIU, AFSCME, ACLU, NEA, UFT, ALF-CIO, Teamsters, and of course the great 99% who through their perseverance aggravated enough of the Right to help put me where I am today, your Beloved Leader, for Life.”
“Today, the 535 existing members of Congress will be joined by another 50 senators and 250 congresspeople by my Executive Order. There are still a few things we need to get done and despite the valiant efforts of Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Reid, I have come to the conclusion that having an unassailable majority will speed up the process. And, should anyone wish to take this to the Supreme Court, I am sure that the ten new Justices that I hand-picked will be just as eager to hear the cases as the existing ones.”
“Soon you will be receiving in the mail letters which will direct you where you will be living and which job you will hold in the interest of fairness. Some of you will not have anything to worry about, such as my friends up front, but others will be offered other opportunities.”
“Some of you will be afforded special treatment and you may find yourself, er, er, working for the gov’t at a secret location. I will do my best to keep your family informed.”
“We will finally be able to get along and give everyone all that they need and we will expect them to contribute according to their ability. No more will there be outburst of salacious attacks as there is a new law which provides gov’t approval of all newspapers, TV, movie and radio content for your enjoyment. Our new country will rise to the same level of all of the other countries in the world and I aim to make that a reality soon.”
“My partner and I are on our way for a brief two-month fact finding tour of Hawaii but not to worry, I know what will be going on and I will be busy with even more Executive Orders.”
“I will leave you with one last thing. As you can tell, things will be different, they will be better than ever before, it will be a workers paradise and we will no longer be saddled by the ancient ideas of a few dozen old, dead white men. Comrade Sunstein was kind enough to obtain from the National Archives the last existing original copies of the Constitution and that pesky Bill of Rights. Cass, if you will… Thank you.”
Unzipping his SEIU jacket, Hakeem produces another Marlboro Lite, lights it, takes a drag then flips his Bic and burns the old pages of parchment.”
“My children, you are free at last, free at last, thank me you are free at last.”
AND NOW, THE WEATHER…
“This is Holden McGroyne with a weather update. It appears that the freak cold weather is not coming from the Artic winds as meteorologists and scientists first thought. The extreme cold is coming from inside the Earth’s mantle and emanating with such velocity as to cause ‘cold thermals’, a singularly unique occurrence. However, in light of what we just heard and as this will most likely be my last ever report, as it appears that hell has frozen over….”
PRAYER LIST. Please if it is in your heart and belief to pray for one’s healing, kindly keep these folks in your prayers: George, Marilyn, Jim, Emily, Sandy, Howie, Frank, Laura, Sue, Jennifer I., Gail, Frances C., Otto G., Joanne B., Sue V., Chris, Pegs aka Cubs, Kevin Downing, Rance McKenzie, Kate Mulligan, George F, Howard B., John Butter.
Requiescat in pace: Mrs. E. Tassone. JoAnn, Tom Porter, Chris Ginzel, Chris McLaughlin.
Any others who are sick or recently deceased and you wish prayers, please ask.
THE FOLLOWING WILL REMAIN AT THE END OF EVERY FISH UNTIL I decide otherwise…..
If it is in your heart (which it should be) and in your ability (which I hope it is) that you will take a moment and think of our brave men and women serving our Country.
If you can send a package, that would be wonderful. If you need any guidance on this, please contact me for details. If nothing else, I am sure that it is within everyone’s ability to send them a card with a “thank you for your service” sentiment included. Maybe a prepaid phone card might be something you can slip in the card as well.
If any of you have anyone serving particularly in Afghanistan, Iraq or anywhere else in that region, please let me know and I will add their name here.
Bradley J. Smith, PVTE2
D CO, TF ROC, 1-134 FA
Camp Stone, Herat
APO AE 09382
T-Minus 326 Days and Counting until Hank’s Pink Slip Day.
T-Minus 401 Days and counting till “It’s OBAMA’s Fault Day!”
I am John and I approve this message!
Be strong, keep the faith and pray. (While you can.)
God Bless
John
Legal-Extra-American-American
PS: As always, I appreciate and welcome your thoughts, ideas, comments, criticisms and FINALLY done with CHRISTmas shopping!! To be added to THE DAILY FISH, please send an email to: Jaksavin@aol.com with the words “ADD TO FISH” in the comment subject line (and anything else you care to write in the body.) To be deleted, same address with “DELETE FROM FISH” in the subject line. Thanks!
VICTORY IN 2012
